Amplify His Name

So.. I just got back from Amplify. It's a spring break trip my church does, where we drive a few hours and minister to the people of Port St. Joe, Florida. I'm trying to organize my thoughts on this blog, because right now everything is so fresh on my mind, it's hard to categorize it and make sense on a screen. So, that's my disclaimer if you get through this whole thing and are completely confused. Well, here's the thing: I've been on more church mission trips than I can probably count. My family has always been that family that was involved in everything at the church, so I would like to think I kinda have it figured out how these things work. Here's a list of just a few things I've noticed over the years.
1. it's always a mad dash to see who can get the back of the bus
2. pack all your junk food you're not normally allowed to eat
3. stay up ridiculously late
3. there's always some sort of boy/girl drama
4. forget something crucial
5. bring 398584758 signed and notarized permission slips
6. have a great time with your friends and don't venture too far out of that "group"
7. when someone says "prayer walk," really they just mean walk around a neighborhood and talk to the people in your group
I'm sure I could think of plenty more later, but I think you get the point. In retrospect, I'm realizing that when I went on those trips before, the focus was still on me. Don't get me wrong, I've always loved to serve, but it was because I wanted to be that girl that all the kids knew my name. I played with them and had a great time, but the underlying root of it was all about glory for me and to make me happy.  During this trip, I realized just how dumb that whole thought process is. How selfish of me to take something as beautiful and God-ordained as serving His precious children into something that is self and pride-glorifying! The Lord loves people. He commands us to love people. Not for our namesake but for His and His alone. I love because He first loved.

For me this trip was challenging in several ways. One most prominent was when our community groups were told to just walk into the neighborhood and share with whoever you see about the Lord. When I heard this, I tried to keep face, but I felt my stomach drop. It's not that I'm afraid to share the Gospel. I'm really not afraid of the response, but I know that the devil was using self-doubt against me, because I had an immediate feeling of inadequacy. My struggle has always been finding a way to jump from regular small talk to the meat of it all, the Gospel. I don't have this gift, but one thing that was especially stressed this week is that we have not been given a spirit of timidity, but of power (2 Timothy 1:7). The same God who created the vast ocean we served by and parted the Red Sea lives in me. There's literally nothing or no one more powerful, and He lives in me. Satan tried to trick me, but how could my fear of not having the right words ever conquer the omnipotent Creator? just crazy. So I finally worked up the courage and found that people everywhere are hurting. They need the Lord and He wants them too. These people just have to hear about him (Romans 10:15).

One last thing then I'll shut up I promise..
A common thread throughout nearly all of the conversations I had this past week was the idea of a works-based salvation. How sad and hopeless that must feel! I know for a fact I'm not good enough and could never be good enough to get to heaven. No one else could either. This completely denies Ephesians 2:8. This might seem easier because it doesn't really require any faith. It puts you in the driver seat, but it always ensures a wreck at the end. I'm so thankful for the few believers that are living in Port St. Joe; they're in my prayers for sure. I'm also so thankful that the Lord has called a few people to be down there this summer to continue building relationships with the people of the community. I'm so excited to see what the Lord does. I know He's working there. It's a confused place right now, but I'm praying diligently for there to be peace in the Lord.

Okay I'm done now I promise. (Sorry that was so long, you're a trooper if you kept reading)